[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by andrewmr

Is he from the south?

Yes.

Is he a gentleman?

I have to answer this yes...for the combined eyeballs of everyone on BP-OT. If I answered truthfully, he would surely unleash "Prancercise - The Lost Episode" on all of us.....

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I'm going to show you how ugly I looked. My old passport photo as God made me, along with photos of me now. You really don't have to do much to make a significant difference. I'm not saying I'm Paris Hilton in any way, but it's a good start.

I still have the same annoying personality, just made some physical improvements along the way and you can too!

This really confirms what I stated earlier - attractive people have NO IDEA. You were far from ugly beforehand, and afterwards - you have simply changed your target market from one culture to another. I personally don't think you improved your looks, just changed them.

I've delayed responding while I thought about things and read other peoples responses, and my head is just a bigger mess now than it was then, so sorry if this is a rambling jumble of comments. And Sara504 , this isn't all directed at you per se - it's kind of a combined response to a lot of messages from various people.

As for what I'm doing about my looks, not a lot. I bought a treadmill recently to start exercising, because I rescued a dog who is rather hostile to other people and dogs, so going out walking with him is difficult. I could consider plastic surgery, but in the past 12 months I have spent $1.5M (cash) on cars here, in the UK and in NZ, and another $200K helping friends through hard times or with life goals like having a child. I am still helping 3 friends with day to day living, one of whom had a brain tumor diagnosis last November, so I'm paying about $5k a month for her rehabilitation and living in the mean time. I'm also building a new home to house my growing car collection, so that covers the "look into surgery" comments, as well as the "it's all about how you treat people". Not that its all about how much money you spend on people, but trust me - my friends and anyone I date are treated extremely well.

At the same time, things like botox for wrinkles are one thing. Changing a jaw line, or protruding chin etc. are harder and more invasive. If it were just my nose, I could have that dealt with. But this just follows on from my earlier comments that I don't think you understand where I'm starting from - especially when you say you think you were ugly. It's like in your world you see 9 as ugly and 10 as perfect - yet some of us live firmly in the 3 territory. You don't seem to have any true idea of the scale, nor what ugly actually means.

Another big major part that's hard to describe is "whether it's worth it" but that ties into a LOT of things in my life that you need to understand also. I have been working hard all my life (by hard, I mean often 100+ hours a week 52 weeks a year - not just "a bit of overtime" here and there). In the past 10 years that has served me very well. Prior to that, I learned a lot that served me well in the past 10 years, but it means I have been mostly single for my entire life. And I'm used to that. Used to making my own decisions. I actually fear being in a relationship and discovering that I don't like to share the decision making etc. so there's actually reasons in my head to remain single. My builder laughed with me that I'm getting a feature in my house he has always wanted in all the homes he's built, and his wife will never agree to it. To me I'm glad I get what I want. To him - he's obviously happier with his wife. I'm not sure I would be - that's the worst part of being old and starting a new relationship. If I had been with someone for 30 years, I probably wouldn't care so much. So I really do not know if I would even be happier in a relationship or not, so why sacrifice all the good food and wine I can enjoy to stay fit and healthy for something that doesn't make me happier?

And then there's the cars/money. Yes, I have a Lambo. 3 in fact. And a Ferrari, 2 Lotuses, a Sunbeam Tiger, and my lowly M3 as a daily driver. That's not counting the Camaro and Hyundai Elantra i bought for friends who needed help. To me the issue with dating is that I don't have a cheap shitbox to drive to a date. But none of those cars are there to impress anyone but me. I bought them for me and me alone. And the last thing I would want is to date someone because of any of those cars. I spend a lot of time talking to people about the cars in car parks, but I've never dated anyone because of it - but not by my choice. I'm so ugly nobody has ever asked for my contact details lol.

Sorry for the ramble, and no doubt I've forgotten half of what I wanted to say.

[Tambohamilton]

Fair play dinonz. Your previous posts seemed a little like a cry for help; I think that's why folks chimed in to try and support/help. Clearly though you've 'made your own bed', so the decision if you want to make any changes is of course 100% yours, and as you've outlined it's not totally simple. Any relationship involves significant compromise, at any stage in life. For me it's worth it, without a shadow of a doubt. A hug from my partner means so much more to me than sitting in my car, never mind all the other stuff about her.

I don't consider myself particularly good looking at all, but you're right; I don't understand where you're starting. In the picture you posted I couldn't see any problem. To me you just looked out of shape and unkempt (no offense intended). One of those is an extremely simple and fast fix, the other takes a lot of work - neither is impossible. I hope you commit yourself to getting in shape, for yourself and nobody else, and see where you go from there.

All the best.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Wait, I thought all along Sara504 was talking about MKSixer as the Southern gentleman she had met.

Originally Posted by andrewmr

Is he from the south?

Is he a gentleman?

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Half these statements are factually true.

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

A gentleman and a scholar to be specific.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Who are we talking about again? I thought the topic was MKSixer but clearly you are on to some other person. Me, perhaps?

Originally Posted by vreihen16

Yes.



I have to answer this yes...for the combined eyeballs of everyone on BP-OT. If I answered truthfully, he would surely unleash "Prancercise - The Lost Episode" on all of us.....

Team, I apologize about any confusion that may have arisen. I'm know as a Gentleman and a Scowler. It is often confusing to others.

It is not I who has met Sara. She met a gentleman from Florida, if I remember correctly.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Going back to the original purpose of this thread, I have to admit that I never had really bad dates. Just disappointing ones.

I date what some of you call average looking guys that I know to have some smarts and a vocabulary exceeding ten words. I shop at WINNERS® so I'm not swept off my feet by someone wearing Armani.

For one thing I don't date guys prettier than I am. Especially those with the tiresome one-liners who look at you like a deer caught in headlights when you start a conversation about world events.

I don't fish off the company's pier either. When I'm asked out, I pay for my dinner. If I'm the one asking you, I pick-up the tab. Guys are uncomfortable with that. Even if they insist, it's too late. The bill has already been settled since the bistro I normally go to, has my credit card on file. I'm sneaky that way.

Although I'm known for not following rules,( Wink-Wink) I have some of my own. It keeps me safe.

I'll take questions now.

Wait...what's wrong with Armani?!?!! Do you have this same prohibition against Canali or Prada?!

This is distressing!!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Going back to the original purpose of this thread, I have to admit that I never had really bad dates. Just disappointing ones.

I date what some of you call average looking guys that I know to have some smarts and a vocabulary exceeding ten words. I shop at WINNERS® so I'm not swept off my feet by someone wearing Armani.

For one thing I don't date guys prettier than I am. Especially those with the tiresome one-liners who look at you like a deer caught in headlights when you start a conversation about world events.

I don't fish off the company's pier either. When I'm asked out, I pay for my dinner. If I'm the one asking you, I pick-up the tab. Guys are uncomfortable with that. Even if they insist, it's too late. The bill has already been settled since the bistro I normally go to, has my credit card on file. I'm sneaky that way.

Although I'm known for not following rules,( Wink-Wink) I have some of my own. It keeps me safe.

I'll take questions now.

You ask men out....then pay for the date??? What kind of backwards f*cking pageantry is this? ......and you have class and into watches??? Marry me......notice the lack a question mark? I wasn't asking.

Let's discuss safe words.

I'm kidding of course. Girlfriend acquired. I will say, I am intrigued though. I want to pick your brain.

Curious, a different kind of lass, such as yourself; aside from "somewhat smart" & a moderately extensive vocabulary, what other characteristics do you look for in men? I have a feeling this will not be the typical responses most women give, which is why I ask.

[Capt Crunch]

Update for the 0 people that care: Literally every conversation of substance I've had started on Tinder. I started getting decent matches (on paper) on the other apps, but conversations were pretty dry.

That said, I'm really happy with one match in particular and have had a couple virtual "dates". Sadly, I may have peaked in my texting game way too early:

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Capt Crunch

Update for the 0 people that care: Literally every conversation of substance I've had started on Tinder. I started getting decent matches (on paper) on the other apps, but conversations were pretty dry.

That said, I'm really happy with one match in particular and have had a couple virtual "dates". Sadly, I may have peaked in my texting game way too early:

That's an interesting attitude you have there fella. If you feel that no one cares, then why post? Update, we all care. Inside the confines of this particular thread, we tend to have each others backs in the name of the greater good.

I will say your text game is a little eccentric.

[MKSixer]

In a picture with two ladies, never ask, "Which one of the two images is you...the girl with or without the mustache?"

Never ends well...

[Capt Crunch]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

That's an interesting attitude you have there fella. If you feel that no one cares, then why post? Update, we all care. Inside the confines of this particular thread, we tend to have each others backs in the name of the greater good.

Thanks man!

I will say your text game is a little eccentric.

I'm a pretty goofy guy (despite my "serious" profession). I'm super comfortable with that so I just need to find someone who likes my particular blend.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

That's an interesting attitude you have there fella. If you feel that no one cares, then why post? Update, we all care. Inside the confines of this particular thread, we tend to have each others backs in the name of the greater good.

I will say your text game is a little eccentric.

Eccentric is one word for it, yes. I feel like I could make significant money on all the poor saps out there who can't write anything witty to save their lives on those dating platforms.

It'd be a cross between Zoolander's school for people who can't text good and Will Smith's "Hitch" movie. It be "very nice". "Great success."

[Capt Crunch]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Eccentric is one word for it, yes. I feel like I could make significant money on all the poor saps out there who can't write anything witty to save their lives on those dating platforms.

It'd be a cross between Zoolander's school for people who can't text good and Will Smith's "Hitch" movie. It be "very nice". "Great success."

I would be interested to see how other people chat it up out of pure curiosity. My way is working out well enough for me, but I know there is more than one way to do things and, to be honest, I have zero idea how other people do it, so maybe there are things that I like that I could incorporate.

[swagon]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

When I'm asked out, I pay for my dinner. If I'm the one asking you, I pick-up the tab. Guys are uncomfortable with that.

Weird that guys would feel uncomfortable. I've heard that it is more expected for them to pay over there in North America, is that the reason maybe?

If it's a first date especially, I always go dutch and no one here has had issue with that either, be it the pub, activity venues or a hotel room. Some dates, she would even buy me drinks first and then we'd take rounds to make it equal.

I've become 100% sober since then so once I get back on the apps later this year, I'll have to start going for coffee even though I hate coffee. Can already see the confused looks.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Capt Crunch

Update for the 0 people that care: Literally every conversation of substance I've had started on Tinder. I started getting decent matches (on paper) on the other apps, but conversations were pretty dry.

That said, I'm really happy with one match in particular and have had a couple virtual "dates". Sadly, I may have peaked in my texting game way too early:

I feel like you need to wait for a response back before giving the punch line.

[Capt Crunch]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I feel like you need to wait for a response back before giving the punch line.

Dude, it was 1 AM her time and I was on a rolllllll. I wasn't waiting for anything.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Capt Crunch

Dude, it was 1 AM her time and I was on a rolllllll. I wasn't waiting for anything.

I hear ya, but sometimes if you just keep messaging/texting like that it comes off as needy/clingy and is a turn off.

[Capt Crunch]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I hear ya, but sometimes if you just keep messaging/texting like that it comes off as needy/clingy and is a turn off.

I understand. There is a lot of missing context (we've been talking for a while) but I see what you're saying.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Non-smoker. No hair style done by Dairy Queen®. Well attired but no skinny jeans if you're over 40. Able to carry-out an intelligent conversation. Can look me in the eyes instead of my boobs. Bonus point if you have a motorcycle.

And yes I pay my own way. No strings attached. Unless I say so.

K, I'm intrigued - I have not heard the term "hair style done by Dairy Queen", but I think I'm going to like the answer. What does that mean? I'm trying to envision it, but I'm stuck on blizzards and so all I can think of is spikey / twisted hair?

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Capt Crunch

I would be interested to see how other people chat it up out of pure curiosity. My way is working out well enough for me, but I know there is more than one way to do things and, to be honest, I have zero idea how other people do it, so maybe there are things that I like that I could incorporate.

For sure - frankly I respond the way I do because I read an insane amount of books as a kid and developed an appreciation for words and how they can be used...and twisted.

To be fair, you only showed us a very small snapshot of your conversation - it's unfair for me to judge you based on that, since context is important. And my post wasn't meant to be directed solely at you, I've just heard / seen a number of responses guys put on these sites and then they post them back here and I'm more often than not just shaking my head.

Fortunately for me, I'm happily married and don't have to worry about any of these sites - man I would hate to be in the dating game right now. A very close friend of mine is, and it just sounds horrible.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Capt Crunch

I understand. There is a lot of missing context (we've been talking for a while) but I see what you're saying.

Ahh I see, if chatting for a while then no big deal, but I know people who will bombard someone with messages right away and it's a big turn off.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

For sure - frankly I respond the way I do because I read an insane amount of books as a kid and developed an appreciation for words and how they can be used...and twisted.

To be fair, you only showed us a very small snapshot of your conversation - it's unfair for me to judge you based on that, since context is important. And my post wasn't meant to be directed solely at you, I've just heard / seen a number of responses guys put on these sites and then they post them back here and I'm more often than not just shaking my head.

Fortunately for me, I'm happily married and don't have to worry about any of these sites - man I would hate to be in the dating game right now. A very close friend of mine is, and it just sounds horrible.

I can confirm that it is horrible.

Basically the normal people get slammed with messages from weirdoes so they opt out soon after, and all that are left are the weirdoes.

[Capt Crunch]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Fortunately for me, I'm happily married and don't have to worry about any of these sites - man I would hate to be in the dating game right now. A very close friend of mine is, and it just sounds horrible.

It's not great... and potentially worse for me because I met my ex wife when we were 15, so I'm not exactly brimming with dating experience. Thankfully, I'm old enough to know what I want and worry a lot less about impressing the other person with what I think they want.

One thing that has helped considerably: wearing something sharp and getting professional photos. Women aren't exactly throwing themselves at me online and I think (hope!) that I'm on the higher end of the spectrum for my age. So I imagine for most guys it's a bit of a bloodbath.