Quote:
Originally Posted by JP10
I read through all the comments and the reason I said that is because of all the stress you said that she is dealing with. If I put myself in her shoes with that stress and 3 kids, the last thing I would want to deal with is a significant other. My fiance sounds similar to her, only likes to discuss issues on her own terms. Which I've learned to deal with over my 9 years with her. I let her come to me when she's ready, and she knows that I am always willing to talk. Now there are caveats within this. When I know she is upset, I ensure that I am on my best behavior through actions to show that I learned or am trying to get through the initial argument. Basically try to get her in a good mood prior to the talk, but again don't push her to do anything that isn't on her terms. You can't not bring it up at all though, this is ammo, she would feel that I had forgotten or it wasn't important.
You and I sound similar in the fact that we are logical through the arguments. Error number 1, logical thinking in an argument is hand and hand with belittlement - from what I've come to understand. I've come to just listen, and even when I know I can throw it back in her face I don't.
It's like walking a tight rope, but at the other end she is holding it and you can't turn around. Eventually you'll get to her, but she has the option to shake you up along the way. Hence my original comment.
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That makes perfect sense! Noted. Keeping my mouth shut or even my facial expressions in check, is what I need to work on the most. I'll keep this in my pocket and remember for the next time a disagreement ensues. Much appreciated my man. This is exactly why this thread exists.
I've been giving advice all through this thread. It's nice to be able to get some quality feedback in return. Thanks to all of you.