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I haven't driven the 1 yet, but I can say that the 3 really isn't that big. Sure bigger than previous 3ers, but still, small enough to be a lot of fun. And you're absolutely right, the weight difference between the 1 and 3 is negligible (which I think would be a critical differentiating factor). The E92 fits the right spot for me - amazing handling and power combined with decent amount of rear legroom. When I sat in the one, I felt crammed. I'm sure I'd still love the 135i, but prefer the 335i for my circumstances. Now, if I was a single male in my 20s, the 135i becomes a no brainer.
But getting back to your earlier point. The 335i feels 'just right' in size and I have never felt once that it is too large a vehicle for its purpose. And by the way, I drive a Mini Cooper S Convertible, so I'm used to the feeling of a small vehicle.
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